Right after the delivery of the shifting realities method to the known world, I want to proceed further and illustrate you the methods and the techniques that the Daoists from the centuries have used to manifest a very special and very well known “magic” technique: shapeshifting.
Shapeshifting is the art of modifying your shape at will, and/or the shape of your environment. Famous shapeshifters, or daoists (or omnyoudou in Japanese), are said to have done miracles like predicting the number of pigeons a box would contain, or many more prodigies ranging from extracting a bottle of liquor out of thin air to any other form of practical witchcraft. But shapeshifting, in its essence, is so much more than this.
I’m going to work, in the next weeks or months, to realize my ultimate course on How To Master Shapeshifting.
If this sounds to you as wizardry or trickery, it’s because it is. And, once again, this art and term transcends both worlds, and dares to go beyond. A Master Shapeshifter can modify at will not only his or her own shape and surroundings, but also the shape of the whole known (and unknown) universe. Shapeshifting, in essence, is the sublime art of giving shapes a form.
So how do you know about this sh*, Dylan?
Why should you purchase a course of shapeshifting from mine, Dylan Blanko, and not from any other white motherduder around town? You might ask.
Well, precisely because that’s what I’ve been practicing for the last 7 years, G. You heard it right. People all around me was thinking that Blanko-san in front of your face right now was dealin’ with lil’ things like havin’ affairs or lucid dreamin’ or some sh*. Turns out, I was also doing that, but mainly I was practicing some other kind of Dindle’in and Mandle’in. Not just some wicked fuckery, as they could probably call it in JA.
I’ve been travelling, I’ve been kissing cheeks and shaking hands for sure, and もちろん I kept practicing my lil’ stilies. To the finest I could. I learnt Traditional Chinese Qi Gong from a certified school in Milan, improving upon it with some other schools and putting the theories to work with my very ass every day of the clock. I learnt the fine arts of dealin’ with women spiritually (Ars Amorata, book translated and delivered to my sons and brothers), financially (Pimpin’ Ken amongst the others), and of course in real life (salute). I traveled to Japan and got me some talismans from the 安倍 晴明 (Abe no Seimei) shrine. And this is only part of my CV as a shapeshifter. The real juices you’ll find by paying your real dueses.
Being an absolute believer in the Daoist precepts, but also a skeptic de facto (read: I don’t believe in knowledge), I will guide you through them tricks and wonders and secrets and thunders, with my very shape and with my very mind, sharpened after years of training, polishing, training some more, and then polishing some more. Oh, I also graduated in Engineering at the Milanes’ Ecole Polytechnique of the magnificent Giovanni Azzone. If you want some free stuff about shapeshiting, in fact, here’s some 10 tips for you my wonder:
1. Sharpen the Knife
Sharpening your knife is essential, when you wanna carve a good statue or object. The same is true for human shapeshifting. Humans are essentially objects, according to classical physics and of course at least 50% of the New Theories. This means that if you wanna shape them, you gotta essentially utilize some sort of blade. In the case of shapeshifting, being it an absolutely non-violent craft, we don’t use weapons nor any other blunt object. We use the power of our mind*.
Still, the concept of sharpening remains. You gotta sharpen your mind. How? Well, traditionally and to simplify things to an even more microcared fashion of verbal delivering, we shapeshifters use numbers. Specifically, the most interesting of them which is the number 2. In my personal numerology, the number 2 is also the last one. First, you learn about numbers, second, you learn to count. This is to say that there are essentially two ways. One is to use the force. And one, is to use grace.
2. Use Grace
If you know about Daoism you probably are versed with the concepts of Yin and Yang. They don’t mean nothing, fool! Mental associations are been given to the future generations by the old ones as a tool to conceptualize divide and submit the fresher minds of young coconut folks who think they can mess with the divine traditions. Still, they carry a message. And sometimes, that message has to be told. This universe is made of two-folded creatures. Humans, most animals, we’all got 2 eyes. This means that the light that you see right now is been delivered to you mostly by these printed pixels and mostly through your pupils. Except if you’re one of the folks using your ears and a t2s instead, but you got me.
So shape is in essence polarity. Black White, Spiked Bubbly, you name it. And shapeshifting also can be split and polarized: forceful or graceful. Now, I have nothing against using the Force, when needed. That being said, the Grace-fold path is much more interesting and deep, for all those who are patient enough, and truly willing to pay attention to my course, and its dobloons.
3. Everything is Shape
Everything is Shape. One could argue that ephemerals and inneffable bla, bla, bla, but you get my point. Everything is made of shape, including the theories about the Unshaped world. So you understand how important this is now.
4. Every choice Cuts deep
Either if you decide to go for Force or for Grace alike, every single one of your choices will matter. This is trivial but also worth mentioning, and your choosing to read a free article anyway, son!
Am I right?
5. Don’t steal my course
This is not really about Shapeshifting in general, more about how I deal with you nasty pirates out there. DO NOT steal my course about shapeshifting, UNLESS you really need it. In this latter case, send me a simple email or just take your chance on the board. But don’t come back whining that I haven’t warned you, shark.
6. Don’t give up on your Fundamentals
You’re a shapeshifter as every other sentient being in every Universe, forever ‘member this. So, until now you have had an upbringing, a set of conditionings, rules, behaviours, and ultimately Shapes, surrounding the surroundings around you so far. Don’t shove them down the drain just ‘cause. You’re gonna bring ‘em to the table. If you subscribe to my course, you’re also gonna get mine. Here’s some of my values about shapes:
- Buddhist precepts (e.g.: don’t lie)
- Christian precepts (e.g.: don’t kill)
- Health (i.e.: don’t kill yourself)
- Grammar (jk)
- Straight Edging aka sXe (no drugs of any kind except if prescribed by the Island itself)
- Reading (this includes sex)
- Working Out (do your reps every day)
- Infinite Respect
And so on, and so forth.
You probably have some similar ones. So yeah once again don’t give up on them and remember to be a good kid. Those are the ones who usually die last, in the movies.
7. I’m serious, don’t give up on ‘em
The Fundamentals are so important that they get an extra point just for that.
8. Forget childish things like Quackery or Conspirationalism
We just ain’t talking about that.
9. Get Money
Get money, fuck the haters, real talk. 😀
On a more serious note, you’ll need real money to function in this World, and of course you’ll need legit money to purchase mine. So go out and play now, my butterflies.
How to Master Shapeshifting
Those are my 9 principles on How to Master Shapeshifting, by me. My shapeshifter’s name? That’s a good question to ask yourself, when you wanna start ‘dis. See you soon with my next course (for now, if you’r Italian, you can purchase Autotrasformazione, currently sellin’ for 27 eurodollars, which will give you access to a Big Discount on the very real thing to come).
*read in an emphatic Bruce Lee tone.